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The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary

Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add these buzzwords to your vocabulary.

FRESH FROM
THE FIELD

Bifurcate

Womb to tomb

At the end of the day

Pushing rope

Faker's dozen

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Zero cycles [adj.]	Lacking the free time for any additional tasks. "It comes down to bandwidth. I have zero cycles for any of this." Suggested by Wolfie.
Zero time [n.]	The duration of tasks that management considers insignificant and so shouldn't impact your productivity when assigned en masse. Logging in takes zero time; filling out a requisition form takes zero time; A "brief weekly update" meeting takes zero time. Suggested by Mad Casual.
Zero-sum game [n.]	A situation where if one person wins, someone else must lose.
Zero-zero split [n.]	The opportunity to waste time when working on two projects simultaneously by telling one boss that you're busy with the other.
Zerotasking [v.]	Doing nothing.
Zombie project [n.]	A project that keeps coming back to life no matter how many times that it's terminated. Suggested by Greg.

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