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Have you ever dated a coworker?

No, that's a line I don't cross
No, but I'd consider it with the right person
One night doesn't count as dated, right?
Tried it, won't do it again
Yes, business AND pleasure
Had to invite half the office to the wedding...



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The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary


Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add these buzzwords to your vocabulary.
FRESH FROM
THE FIELD

Into the weeds

Work the problem

Verbiage

SWAG

Velvet lip

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W-cubed [exp.]The unrealistic claim that your company can deliver whatever, wherever, whenever it's needed.
WAG [n.]A Wild-Assed Guess.
Walk-trot-run [adj.]Describes the progressive improvement of new personnel or practices. "I'm confident that my latest hires will be walk-trot-run by next month."
Submitted by Mike B.
Wallpaper a meeting [v.]To include individuals that agree with your position.
Wallpapering fog [v.]Doing something useless (in the extreme). "Tell your team to stop wallpapering fog and produce some damn results!"
Submitted by Greg.
Warm bowl of nothing [n.]A project or idea that has no substance, but is sold as a great opportunity.
Submitted by Jim.
Wax poetic [v.]To talk in what the speaker believes to be an expressive manner, often using bizarre, contrived metaphors. "After warning us that he was going to 'wax poetic', Tim started to compare our recent union battles with the struggle for racial equality."
Suggested by Steve W.
Weighing the pig [v.]Endlessly analyzing a business's standpoint in terms of market share, profitability, growth potential, etc., instead of actually working on generating revenue.
Submitted by Alecia.
Whatnot [n.]No matter how many times an instruction is repeated or simplified, this person will look back with glazed eyes, a blank expression and a predictable response, "...What?"
Submitted by CM & JC.
Wheelhouse [n.]The piloting room of a ship; the brain. "The thought of going green has been rattling around my wheelhouse for some time now."
Submitted by Paul N.
Where the rubber meets the road [exp.]1. A single, crucial moment on which success is dependent.
2. The performance of a product after release, in the real world. "We deploy next week. This is where the rubber meets the road, people!"
Whiteboard [v.]To convey information by writing it out on a presentation surface. "Let's whiteboard your thoughts in this afternoon's meeting."
WIFM [exp.]What's In it For Me (pronounced 'wiffim'). "I understand what you're saying, but where's the WIFM here?"
Submitted by Nigel T.
Wiggle room [n.]The amount of flexibility to change a profit margin. "Our competitors are offering a huge discount. How much wiggle room do we have here?"
Win-win situation [n.]A mutually beneficial arrangement for two parties. While the better negotiator is probably still at an advantage, both leave the table feeling great about it.
Window-licker [n.]An employee who tries desperately (and unsuccessfully) to impress the boss and be promoted.
Windshield survey [v.]Avoiding the effort required to actually leave one's car during a site visit.
Submitted by Gary P.
With all due respect... [exp.]Usually spoken just prior to showing no respect at all.
Submitted by Russell H.
WOO [n.]Window Of Opportunity. "John has to come in Monday; the WOO can't be changed on this one."
Submitted by Sammy.
Word-of-mouse [adj.]Referral advertising over a computer network.
Wordsmith [v.]A dramatic replacement for 'edit'. "Let's capture your ideas in broad terms for now -- we can always wordsmith them later."
Submitted by Leslie C.
Work spasm [n.]The very productive (although usually short) period of work just after a vacation.
Work stack [n.]'To do' list. "We'll need to check Jim's work stack before we task him with another account."
Submitted by Fred D.
Work the problem [v.]After pretending to listen to a complaint, this is the act of pretending to address the issue. Nicely avoids committing to a specific course of action. "Understand that we are very concerned and are currently working the problem. Please hold the line and it will be remedied shortly."
Submitted by Angie.
Workstream [n.]A task described so vaguely that no tangible progress can be made. "I want each member of your team to focus on one of four key workstreams..."
Submitted by Whistling R.
Worry bead [n.]A bothersome subject tracked by executives on a rotating basis. Like Rosary Beads are counted during prayers, worry bead items are discussed on a regular schedule.
Submitted by Tired.


Have one to add? Click here to suggest a word


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