The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary: M-words

Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add buzzwords to your vocabulary.

Macromanager [n.]A manager that tries to direct matters outside of his department.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Mad money [n.]Capital that moves quickly and unpredictably.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Magic bullet [n.]The mythical perfect solution to a given business problem. "There's no magic bullet to collateralized debt securitization."
Suggested by Steve B.
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Major player [n.]A person of influence and power within a given group. "So who are the major players at the table?"
Suggested by David.
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Make waves [v.]To cause conflict or argument.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Making sausage [v.]When employees discuss potential financial gains from a customer, in the presence of the customer. "The next time I catch you making sausage in front of a client, you're fired."
Suggested by Dan.
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Malicious obedience [n.]The act of following a boss's instructions explicitly, while hoping for failure. It can also involve remaining quiet about any discovered mistakes or poor judgment.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Management porn [n.]A long slide presentation of useless facts and figures, created to distract managers and give them something to salivate over.
Suggested by Scott.
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Marinate [v.]To allow some time to consider an idea privately. "I'll just let that one marinate… Catch you on the circle back tomorrow am."
Suggested by Richard
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Market-facing [adj.]A role that requires interaction with clients. Contrast with the funny-looking bunch relegated to the back office.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Marketecture [n.]Technical advertising, usually including diagrams. "Make sure their techies get our latest piece of marketecture."
Suggested by Matt F.
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Matrices [n.]A random diagram used to justify dubious calculations. "If we pause to consider the matrices…"
Suggested by samuel
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Matrix team [n.]A group assembled from diverse departments to solve a complex problem. "Pull in a matrix team so we're covered-off end to end."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
McJob [n.]A demeaning or low ranking position.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Meanderthal [n.]A person who has difficulty expressing themselves succinctly. They often give long, unfocused presentations.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Meat and potatoes [v.]Basic or traditional. "Your meat and potatoes approach isn't going to work with this crowd."
Suggested by Mrs. B. Trellis of North Wales.
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Meat on the bone [n.]Profits. "Give me a month. One good land will put more meat on the bone."
Suggested by Catherine M.
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Meeting assassin [n.]Someone who hijacks a meeting with excessive questions or endless follow-on observations. See also: Dr. Freeze.
Suggested by Gary D.
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Meeting fill [n.]Employees that have limited knowledge, but are attentive and deferential. Prized by ineffective managers everywhere.
Suggested by Rob H.
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Melt-down [n.]Complete product failure.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Meritocracy [n.]An organization in which the success of individuals is claimed to be based only on their aptitude.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Meta ignorance [n.]Being unaware of what you don't know. A common problem for managers and politicians.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Mickey Mouse [adj.]A trivial solution.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Milk [v.]To take advantage of a favorable situation. "Andrea's really milking the fact that she's the boss's daughter.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Mission critical [adj.]Something that is vital to the success of an organization. Easy on the army lingo, solider.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Mom-and-pop [n.]A small-time operation.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Mommy track [n.]The dead-end career path on which those with family responsibilities sometimes find themselves.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Monday morning quarterback [n.]A person who offers criticism only after something negative has occurred.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Mouse potato [n.]The modern cousin of the couch potato. They typically spend hour after hour in front of the computer.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Move the needle [v.]Tangible progress. "You talk about efficiency, but when are you going to actually move the needle?"
Suggested by Jeremy.
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Move things forward [v.]A generic way of saying 'get something done', without actually having to think about what that entails.
Suggested by Paul G.
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Moving the goal posts [v.]Changing the parameters of an ongoing project. "How can we hope to deliver on time if the client keeps moving the goal posts?"
Suggested by Thomas.
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Mucus trooper [n.]Your colleague that always gets the worst colds, yet still makes it in to work to cough it all over you.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Multi-slacker [n.]A person who can perform many unproductive things at the same time. These include phone conversations, instant messaging, and web surfing, often on company time.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Muppet shuffle [v.]The shifting of under-performing or troublesome employees to other unsuspecting departments.
Suggested by David.
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Mushroom principle [n.]A management practice that involves keeping subordinates in the dark and feeding them shit.
Suggested by Elliott.
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My understanding [n.]A fine bit of rhetoric that avoids committing to a yes/no answer. "Is it black or white? Well my understanding is black."
Suggested by Henri
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