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The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary: V-words
Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add buzzwords to your vocabulary.| Value proposition [n.] | The collection of tangible and intangible things that your product offers. |   |
| Value stream [n.] | The full set of processes through which a product passes over its lifespan. Some add value, while others take it away. |  |
| Value-add [exp.] | A typical biz-speak reversal of 'added value.' "We have to evaluate the value-add of this activity before we drop any more money into it." Suggested by Fred D. |  |
| Vanilla [adj.] | Simple, conservative. "Stop being so vanilla and help me shred these documents." |  |
| Vaporware [n.] | 1) Overhyped software that misses a promised release date so many times that even die-hard fanboys lose interest. 2) A tactic used by salesman to sidestep your complaints by selling you the (nonexistent) next version of their product. Suggested by Jacada. |  |
| Vapour trail [n.] | What follows behind a coworker that uses far too much perfume or cologne. Someone should really say something... |  |
| Veal pen [n.] | A cubicle. So how tender do you think you are at this point? |  |
| Vector [v.] | Move. That's it, just move. "We'll vector that up to the operations unit right away." Suggested by Kelly B. |  |
| Velvet lip [n.] | The ability to divert attention away from unpleasant situations, production numbers, or sales figures. "Who's that new PR guy with the velvet lip?" |  |
| Verbiage [n.] | Descriptive writing. "Here's the outline for our strategy in the coming fiscal year... we'll fill in the verbiage later." Suggested by Corinna S. |  |
| Verbification [v.] | See verbing. |  |
| Verbing [v.] | The process of transforming an innocent noun into a business verb. |  |
| Village hall [n.] | An unfortunate derivative of 'Town hall', this is a relatively small meeting held by middle management. The same pretense of open discussion applies. Suggested by Dave |  |
| Visibility to [n.] | Access to information about a given subject. "I can't give you visibility to unpublished earnings data." Suggested by Angela |  |
| Vision [n.] | The bold leadership direction that every manager claims, even if it changes every two weeks. |  |
| Visioning [v.] | Meeting to plan future directions (also used in place of 'brainstorming' by those who keep their jargon fresh). "Keep your afternoon clear for a visioning session with the project leads." Suggested by Sarah. |  |
| Visual noise [n.] | A condition wherein a workspace is so cluttered that the employee cannot think clearly about anything or respond to simple requests for information. "This collection of visual noise you call a cubicle is a barrier to productivity." |  |
| Voldis [n.] | Volume discount. "What kind of voldis can you give me if I order 1000 units?" |  |
| Voluntold [v.] | Volunteered for something by a superior, when there was really no choice in the matter. Suggested by Leesy. |  |
| Vubicle [n.] | A cubicle that abuts a window; a cubicle with a view. When offices aren't available, it's the little things that help managers feel superior. |  |
| Vulture capitalists [n.] | Ruthless investors that typically wait to help liquidate the remaining assets of failed companies. |  |
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