| P*ssing in the ocean [v.] | An action that is hopelessly trivial or meaningless. "Without the right equipment, we might as well be PITO."
Suggested by Jacada. |   |
| Pacesetter [n.] | A product or company that dictates market standards. | |
| PanAm [v.] | To take over; hijack. "We were enjoying a casual, light-hearted lunch until Donna came by and totally PanAm'd it with her work talk."
Suggested by Kellie | |
| Paper [v.] | To document a position or transaction. "We verbally agreed to a rebate, but it hasn't been papered yet."
Suggested by Tax Goddess. | |
| Paper shredder [n.] | Another on the long list of derogatory ways to refer to accountants.
Suggested by Philip A. | |
| Papercut [n.] | A minor negative impact. "Five reps called out this morning so expect a few papercuts when the call volume spikes." | |
| Parachute in [v.] | To send someone to complete work at an off-site location. "The client's legal staff are clueless so I'll parachute someone in next week." | |
| Parking lot [v.] | To end the discussion of a particular item in a meeting with the intention of addressing it later. "We ran out time and had to parking lot Tim's marketing ideas." | |
| Partnering [v.] | An overused phrase referring to the formation of business relationships. | |
| Party line [n.] | Official position. "I just can't swallow the party line on these environmental standards." | |
| Path forward [n.] | A dramatic metaphor for what's probably a mundane business plan.
Suggested by Jacada. | |
| Pathfinder project [n.] | A new venture in an untested area. "This exciting pathfinder project will open new markets." Of course, this is corporate-speak for, "We're new to this and making it up as we go."
Suggested by Peter K. | |
| Pay grade [n.] | The limit of one's knowledge or power within an organization. "Secret monkey research? That's above my pay grade." | |
| Pay the piper [exp.] | To settle a debt. | |
| Payroll orphan [n.] | A person who will no longer be receiving a paycheck. | |
| Peacock [n.] | A person who insists on displaying every award, certification, and #1-dad-plaque on their cubicle walls. | |
| Peanut butter out [v.] | To distribute responsibilities among team members. "Let's meet tomorrow to peanut butter out the tasks."
Suggested by Kristine. | |
| Pearl diving contest [n.] | An incentive program to increase sales. | |
| Peel the onion [v.] | To remove all superfluous layers and get to the heart of an issue. Leave this one at home. | |
| Peer management [v.] | The art of interacting with difficult coworkers. | |
| Pen-down strike [n.] | A protest in which employees are physically present, but complete no actual work. A strike of one doesn't count, lazy. | |
| Pencil-whip [v.] | To falsify records or submit a form with fabricated information. "I pencil-whipped the survey so management would take it seriously."
Suggested by Brandon C. | |
| Penetration pricing [v.] | The practice of initially setting a low price to gain a market share. | |
| Penny ante [n.] | Something insignificant. | |
| Percussive maintenance [v.] | The common practice of 'fixing' a piece a equipment by smacking it repeatedly. | |
| Phase Two [exp.] | While it once referred to a concrete part of a given project, it is now used to shelve unrealistic ideas. "That's more of a phase two idea, Jill." | |
| Phenomeniche [n.] | A product or idea that, while not an overall phenomenon, completely dominates its particular market. | |
| Phone it in [v.] | To complete a task without much effort. "She's really phoning it in on this one." | |
| Phone shui [n.] | In thick buildings, this is the art of adjusting the placement of your cellphone to find a signal.
Suggested by Grigori. | |
| Photox [v.] | Improving the appearance of one's face in a digital image using graphics software. | |
| Pig in a python [exp.] | Slow moving. | |
| Pigeon [n.] | 1) Someone that is easily deceived.
2) An absolutely useless and clueless employee. "What were they thinking hiring this pigeon?"
Suggested by Kevin L. | |
| Piggyback [v.] | To add to a previously stated idea. This is a common occurrence in meetings and business school classes, where the idea is usually just repeated using different wording. "I'd like to piggyback on Kim's analysis of this case..."
Suggested by Reza. | |
| Pilot fish [n.] | A junior-level manager that closely tails a senior executive. | |
| Pin the rose [v.] | The act of selecting someone to perform a thankless task. "Head downstairs and find me an intern I can pin this rose on."
Suggested by Jeffrey. | |
| Ping [v.] | To contact or notify. "Ping the boss about this one later." | |
| Pipe, the [n.] | The never-ending source of all work. "I better hurry and finish this project because I've got three more coming down the pipe." | |
| Planful [adj.] | Describes actions taken after careful strategic thinking. "I admire your measured and planful approach."
Suggested by LK. | |
| Pocket call [n.] | An unintentional cell phone call. Can often get you into trouble. | |
| Point of pain [n.] | An area of pressing customer need. Addressed, of course, by your company's latest product offering.
Suggested by our spies at a Fortune 100. | |
| Poison pill [exp.] | A financial move to discourage a takeover attempt. | |
| Polish a document [v.] | To add fancy words (many of which you'll find here) to make your writing sound more convincing. | |
| Political equity [n.] | The hope of big business that political donations build value over time. | |
| Polling [v.] | Repeatedly checking Internet news sites throughout the workday, in order to be the first to 'break the story' to your colleagues when something interesting comes up. | |
| Pooh-pooh [v.] | To reject, turn down. | |
| Poor mouth [exp.] | To verbally deny that one is wealthy. | |
| Populate [v.] | To fill out a paper form. "Can you populate that expense claim for me?"
Suggested by Simon S. | |
| Post-mortem [n.] | The meeting, report, or (heaven forbid) process that addresses everything that went wrong during a failed project.
Suggested by Ben. | |
| Power luser [n.] | An employee who is incredibly good at accidentally screwing up his computer. | |
| Powerpoint Bunny [n.] | Someone who dedicates themselves to the art of putting other people's hard work into cheesy, over-animated slideshows.
Suggested by Alex G. | |
| PowerPointless [adj.] | Fancy graphics and animations in slide presentations that distract your audience instead of clarifying. | |
| PR&D [n.] | The unholy union of public relations and research & development. Engineering activities performed for promotional purposes with no regard for usability, return on investment, or product application.
Suggested by Mad Casual. | |
| Prairie dogging [v.] | The simultaneous pop-up of several heads when something interesting is happening around cubicles. | |
| Pre-mumble [n.] | The preliminary comments of a speaker. Often an attempt at humour is made. | |
| Pre-read [n.] | Subject matter, memos and other materials that should be read prior to a meeting or event. "Please forward the pre-read to my secretary before tomorrow's board meeting." | |
| Prebuttal [n.] | To address an opposing viewpoint before it's brought up. Often interruptive, "Now I know what you're going to say..." | |
| Presenteeism [n.] | The practice of working ridiculously long hours. | |
| Press on that bruise [v.] | The act of further exposing or exploiting a known weakness to advance one's cause. "I don't mean to press on that bruise, but…"
Suggested by Cal N. | |
| Press the flesh [v.] | To shake hands. | |
| Pretendgineer [n.] | A young worker who has settled for a technical job after realizing that his true passion won't pay the bills. "He's still hoping for that record deal, but he's been pretendgineering since graduation. I give it 6 months before the guitar's gathering dust."
Suggested by JC & CM. | |
| Prethink [v.] | Discussing an idea or proposal with a smaller group before broader delivery. "We met to prethink our message before the call."
Suggested by w3. | |
| Price point [n.] | Although a legitimate economic concept, business people are simply happy to have a much cooler way to say 'price'. "What kind of price point were you looking for?" | |
| Proceduralize [v.] | To make a process official. "We're going to proceduralize this protocol into a coherent business model." | |
| Productize [v.] | To turn into a product. "How do we productize our experience in this sector?" | |
| Programmatically [adj.] | To complete a task with the help of a software tool. "I want to be able to track our shipments programmatically." | |
| Project creep [n.] | The ongoing extension of a deadline by small increments.
Suggested by Brian C. | |
| Promoted to customer [v.] | Fired. "Didn't you hear? Melanie was promoted to customer last Friday."
Suggested by Gregg. | |
| Prostitot [n.] | A pre-teen girl that dresses provocatively. | |
| Pucker factor [n.] | The degree of reaction to something that is startling or unexpected. It's better not to think about the origins of this one. | |
| Puff piece [n.] | An article that is purely hype. | |
| Pulse [v.] | To gather information informally. "Pulse our liaisons for any changes to our contact lists."
Suggested by Jordan M. | |
| Pump and dump [v.] | To pad a list price higher so that the net profit is still palatable after a large discount is applied. "Who negotiated this corporate account? I had to pump and dump all my quotes to those guys."
Suggested by Colin M. | |
| Punch the tree [v.] | To vent anger at an inanimate object in lieu of the person who caused it. "Take five, punch the tree, and come back in here with a clear head."
Suggested by Tom NWC. | |
| Pushback [n.] | The opposition that one's ideas face from the rest of the company. | |
| Pushing rope [v.] | A fruitless task. "You've wasted half your career pushing rope."
Suggested by Jon B. | |
| Put to bed [v.] | To conclude something. "We just need to put these last issues to bed." | |
| Put your feelers out [exp.] | To assess a situation using information gathered from one's professional network. "Why don't you put your feelers out to gauge the partners' interest in our latest initiatives." | |
| Putting socks on an octopus [v.] | Attempting an impossible task. "Closing these latest prospects is like putting socks on an octopus."
Suggested by Mrs. B. Trellis of North Wales. | |
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