The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary: I-words
Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add buzzwords to your vocabulary.
I hate to say "I told you so" [exp.]
I told you so.
Idea shower [n.]
A creative group exercise where suggestions are made in rapid succession. Creeper boss says, "Shower me… with ideas." Suggested by Operatic Bacon
Ideation [n.]
An overused portmanteau of "idea" and "creation". Psychologists have a legitimate use for this word. You probably don't. Suggested by Janice H.
Ignoranus [n.]
Someone who is both stupid and an asshole. Suggested by John W.
Imagineer [v.]
A contraction of "imagine" and "engineer" used to describe the wasting of time and money to develop an unnecessary solution to some non-existent business problem. Suggested by The Village Idiot.
Impactful [adj.]
Having a large effect. An ugly, ugly extension of the word 'impact.'
In my world [exp.]
You plebs couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like for someone in my position. Suggested by Catie
In the black [adj.]
Profitable.
In the cards [exp.]
A likely outcome.
Incent [v.]
To encourage an action by suggesting a reward. A particularly terrible verb created from the noun incentive. "I think we can incent investors to get on-board with this one."
Income not IF-come [exp.]
A business needs cash, not the promise of cash. Suggested by Lyndsey.
Industrial vacation [n.]
A business trip to a desirable location that is loosely related to business. Usually requires participants to arrive a few days early to "prepare" and stay a few days after to "wrap-up."
Insourcing [v.]
The practice of looking within one's company for someone with required skills.
Interface [v.]
To communicate. "Can we interface just before lunch?" Suggested by Linda
Interlock [v.]
Meeting in order to coordinate. "Stop by my office and we'll interlock later."
Into the weeds [exp.]
Presenting excessive detail when the expectation was to stay at a basic overview level. "Can we find one damn engineer who can speak about their work without diving into the weeds?" Suggested by Kenny.
Involuntary entrepreneur [n.]
A laid off employee with poor prospects who is forced to work multiple transient jobs.
Involuntary reduction in force [exp.]
A round of firings made after requesting that people volunteer to quit.
Irregardless [adj.]
A false merger of regardless and irrespective; incorrectly used in lieu of either. Suggested by Antti L.
Issue [n.]
In a positive and affirming workplace the word 'problem' is swapped for the much more diplomatic 'issue'. "Houston, we have an issue." Suggested by Tracy.
ITL [adj.]
In The Loop. Describes an awareness of key issues. "Bring me up to speed. I'm not ITL on this one."