The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary: D-words

Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add buzzwords to your vocabulary.

D-PAD [v.]Downloading Porn All Day. When an employee has nothing to do. "Now that the project is finished, I'm looking forward to a little D-PAD."
Suggested by minorfall.
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Daily driver [n.]Functional, reliable equipment for day-to-day productivity. "The touchscreen is cute, but it's not going replace my daily driver."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Data-point [n.]An area of factual inquiry.
Suggested by Joe O.
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De-integrate [v.]To disassemble. "We're going to have to de-integrate the entire assembly and start from scratch."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter


De-layering [v.]An excuse to fire multiple levels of a hierarchy without reducing the total workload. (see also, Empowerment)
Suggested by Jane W.
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De-tune [v.]To minimize in style or message. Synonym: tone-down. "You really need to de-tune those hideous slides."
Suggested by Natalie R.
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Dead stick [adj.]Describes a project that has lost momentum. This is an aviation term used when a plane is on the verge of losing control.
Suggested by Derrick.
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Dead Tree Edition [n.]Printed version of a document or presentation. "We already have it in PDF, why do we need the dead tree edition?"
Suggested by Primus
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Dead wood [n.]An employee that no longer contributes anything meaningful to an organization.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Deceptionist [n.]A receptionist whose job is actually to delay or block potential visitors. Ruthless with a polite, perfect smile.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Decision sniper [n.]The person that sits quietly in a meeting until just before a decision is reached, then raises a question that forces the group to reconvene later.
Suggested by Brian W.
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Deck [n.]A PowerPoint slide presentation. "Clean up those slides before you even think about running that deck again."
Suggested by Gomo.
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Decruit [v.]A clever euphemism for firing senior employees. "The board is pushing for decruitment."
Suggested by Amanda G.
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Deep dive [n.]An in-depth study.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Deep pockets [n.]Rich investors. "We need a few more deep pockets on board before we move forward."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Deep six [exp.]A borrowed military term meaning 'to dispose of.'Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Deferred success [n.]A term used to postpone the declaration of failure, as if a positive result is guaranteed (just not right now). "The project was a deferred success; we're confident that things will pick up in the next quarter."
Suggested by Aidan.
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Dehire [v.]To fire.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Deja moo [exp.]The nagging feeling that you've heard this BS before.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Delagatorship [n.]A business entity run by someone incapable of decision-making.
Suggested by Matt F.
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Deliver the goods [v.]To come through on an agreement.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Delta [n.]Pretty much the coolest way to speak about a change or difference. "We're talking about a 2% delta on the cap rate."
Suggested by Cash M.
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Deploy [v.]Execute; release to the public. Makes the speaker feel like he's planning D-Day instead of some insipid PR launch.
Suggested by Irene G.
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Descope [v.]The art of removing requirements or features from a project to make it appear completed. "The web deliverable was descoped yesterday and victory was declared."
Suggested by JCSmith.
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Deselect [v.]To fire or lay-off. "We need to deselect five people from your department to meet cost targets this year."
Suggested by Don.
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Desk dive [n.]The painful crawl underneath your desk to unplug equipment or fetch a dropped item.
Suggested by Jessica.
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Desk jockey [exp.]An office worker.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Deskfast [n.]Breakfast eaten at your desk.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Diagonal slice meeting [n.]A large meeting involving staff from several teams. Try not to think about costs as 26 people discuss their feelings.
Suggested by Henry H.
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Dial and smile [n.]Phone calls intended to recruit new customers.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dial-in [v.]A simply terrible way to say 'include'. "Let me dial-in marketing on this one."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dialogue [v.]To have a conversation. "Let's dialogue later about the Miller account."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dialogue marketing [n.]A marketing strategy that tries to create a two-way rapport with the customer.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Diarize [v.]To ensure that all relevant details are recorded. "Don't pack up until these learnings are diarized."
Suggested by Lesley.
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Diary forward [v.]To record new knowledge and apply it in the future. "Managers will conduct a 15 minute walkdown each day and diary forward to cover all shifts."
Suggested by Rob A.
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Die on the hill [v.]To over-commit. "The client's pushing for a Friday go-live? No thanks. I'm not dying on that hill."
Suggested by Renee
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Different breed [adj.]A derogatory reference to a strange person or thing. "Night shift servermonkeys really are a different breed."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Digerati [n.]An elite group of people that know more about computers than you ever will.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dime store [n.]A business that sells extremely cheap items.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
DINK [n.]Double Income, No Kids.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dinosaur [n.]A long-term company employee whose extensive experience is only surpassed by his resistance to change.
Suggested by Aaron D.
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Dip your pen in company ink [v.]Having sexual relations with a coworker.
Suggested by Brad
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Directionally accurate [adj.]A terrible euphemism for describing a failed guess. "You have to admit that our conclusion was at least directionally accurate."
Suggested by ACP.
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Dirty laundry [n.]Questionable business practices or documents that an organization would prefer to remain secret.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dirty pool [exp.]Unethical practices. "Her lawyers are really playing dirty pool on this one."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Disambiguate [v.]An ironic 5-syllable word used in place of 'clarify.'Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Disconnect [n.]An inconsistency or problem. Another terrible noun created from a perfectly good verb.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Disimpress [v.]To reverse a favorable impression with subsequent behavior. "We liked him at the first interview, but he really disimpressed us in the second round."
Suggested by Jason I.
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Disincentivize [v.]To reduce the motivation to make a particular choice. Please, just never say this word.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Disintermediate [v.]The process of removing the middle man. Lord help us.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
DK [n.]Short for Don't Know. To renege on a deal by claiming that terms are missing or incorrect. "Joan DK'ed me when her options took a bath."
Suggested by Papa
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Do the needful [exp.]A reminder to actually do the work you're being paid for. "…and if that means coming in Sunday, we're going to do the needful."
Suggested by Michael W.
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Doability [adj.]Used to describe whether an activity can be undertaken. "I need to confirm the doability of that request."
Suggested by Beneboy
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Dog [n.]A badly performing product or company.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dog and pony show [n.]An overlay staged presentation that has more style than substance.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dog in this fight [n.]Presence in a given market. "Find out what the competition is up to, and make damn sure we get a dog in this fight."
Suggested by Jack.
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Dogfooding [v.]The practice of forcing developers to use their own product (or 'eat their own dog food') to better understand the customer experience.
Suggested by Programmer Type.
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DOMA [exp.]Die Or Move Away. One way to lose customers.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
DOMO [exp.]DOwnwardly MObile. A young person who changes their priorities and quits a high paying, demanding position.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Don't f*** with payroll [exp.]Blunt advice about avoiding romantic or sexual relationships with co-workers.
Suggested by Max
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Don't fight the tape [exp.]Don't oppose the market trend.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Don't get your meat where you make your bread [exp.]A food metaphor about the perils of hooking up with coworkers.
Suggested by Jason F.
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Donkey work [n.]Mundane tasks requiring minimal skill to complete. "I'm so done with this donkey work. Internships are the worst."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dopeler effect [exp.]The principle that stupid ideas sound better when they come at you quickly.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Double dip [v.]To retire, but then start another career.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Double-time [exp.]A military term meaning to act quickly. "Get that invoice out double-time!"Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dovetail [v.]To expand upon a fellow employee's idea. Claiming it as your own is optional. "That dovetails nicely into my point."
Suggested by Johnny P.
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Down and dirty [adj.]To perform a task quickly without considering quality.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Downsize [v.]To reduce the size of a workforce. Often begins with requests for voluntary resignations and ends with a series of layoffs.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Drill down [v.]To investigate thoroughly. "Let's meet this afternoon and drill down on this one."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Drink from the firehose [v.]To be overwhelmed with information.
Suggested by Crazy Renee.
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Drink the Kool-aid [v.]To accept company policy without question.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Drive beyond the headlights [v.]To get ahead of oneself. "Stop me if I'm driving beyond the headlights here, but I want to share an amazing home-based business with you."
Suggested by Crazy Renee.
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Drop-dead date [n.]The REAL deadline. Missing it often means dire consequences.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Dropping packets [v.]A state of forgetfulness caused by burnout or lack of sleep. "You hungover again? You've been dropping packets all morning..."
Suggested by David M.
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Dub-dub-dub [n.]A quicker (and nerdier) way to refer to the beginning of a website address. "You have to check out dub-dub-dub dot..."
Suggested by Chandra C.
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Duck shove [n.]The act of passing a difficult question or task to an unsuspecting third party. "I duck shoved that paperwork over to Jonathon."Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Duck shuffler [n.]Someone who disrupts your affairs after you've finally gotten all your 'ducks in a row.'Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Ducks in a row [exp.]To become organized.Share this term on FacebookShare this term on Twitter
Due diligence [n.]The thoroughness required to make good business decisions.
Suggested by Pulkit B.
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