|D-PAD [v.]||Downloading Porn All Day. When an employee has nothing to do. "Now that the project is finished, I'm looking forward to a little D-PAD."|
Suggested by minorfall.
|Daily driver [n.]||Functional, reliable equipment for day-to-day productivity. "The touchscreen is cute, but it's not going replace my daily driver."|
|Data-point [n.]||An area of factual inquiry.|
Suggested by Joe O.
|De-integrate [v.]||To disassemble. "We're going to have to de-integrate the entire assembly and start from scratch."|
|De-layering [v.]||An excuse to fire multiple levels of a hierarchy without reducing the total workload. (see also, Empowerment)|
Suggested by Jane W.
|De-tune [v.]||To minimize in style or message. Synonym: tone-down. "You really need to de-tune those hideous slides."|
Suggested by Natalie R.
|Dead stick [adj.]||Describes a project that has lost momentum. This is an aviation term used when a plane is on the verge of losing control.|
Suggested by Derrick.
|Dead Tree Edition [n.]||Printed version of a document or presentation. "We already have it in PDF, why do we need the dead tree edition?"|
Suggested by Primus
|Dead wood [n.]||An employee that no longer contributes anything meaningful to an organization.|
|Deceptionist [n.]||A receptionist whose job is actually to delay or block potential visitors. Ruthless with a polite, perfect smile.|
|Decision sniper [n.]||The person that sits quietly in a meeting until just before a decision is reached, then raises a question that forces the group to reconvene later.|
Suggested by Brian W.
|Deck [n.]||A PowerPoint slide presentation. "Clean up those slides before you even think about running that deck again."|
Suggested by Gomo.
|Decruit [v.]||A clever euphemism for firing senior employees. "The board is pushing for decruitment."|
Suggested by Amanda G.
|Deep dive [n.]||An in-depth study.|
|Deep pockets [n.]||Rich investors. "We need a few more deep pockets on board before we move forward."|
|Deep six [exp.]||A borrowed military term meaning 'to dispose of.'|
|Deferred success [n.]||A term used to postpone the declaration of failure, as if a positive result is guaranteed (just not right now). "The project was a deferred success; we're confident that things will pick up in the next quarter."|
Suggested by Aidan.
|Dehire [v.]||To fire.|
|Deja moo [exp.]||The nagging feeling that you've heard this BS before.|
|Delagatorship [n.]||A business entity run by someone incapable of decision-making.|
Suggested by Matt F.
|Deliver the goods [v.]||To come through on an agreement.|
|Delta [n.]||Pretty much the coolest way to speak about a change or difference. "We're talking about a 2% delta on the cap rate."|
Suggested by Cash M.
|Deploy [v.]||Execute; release to the public. Makes the speaker feel like he's planning D-Day instead of some insipid PR launch.|
Suggested by Irene G.
|Descope [v.]||The art of removing requirements or features from a project to make it appear completed. "The web deliverable was descoped yesterday and victory was declared."|
Suggested by JCSmith.
|Deselect [v.]||To fire or lay-off. "We need to deselect five people from your department to meet cost targets this year."|
Suggested by Don.
|Desk dive [n.]||The painful crawl underneath your desk to unplug equipment or fetch a dropped item.|
Suggested by Jessica.
|Desk jockey [exp.]||An office worker.|
|Deskfast [n.]||Breakfast eaten at your desk.|
|Diagonal slice meeting [n.]||A large meeting involving staff from several teams. Try not to think about costs as 26 people discuss their feelings.
Suggested by Henry H.
|Dial and smile [n.]||Phone calls intended to recruit new customers.|
|Dial-in [v.]||A simply terrible way to say 'include'. "Let me dial-in marketing on this one."|
|Dialogue [v.]||To have a conversation. "Let's dialogue later about the Miller account."|
|Dialogue marketing [n.]||A marketing strategy that tries to create a two-way rapport with the customer.|
|Diarize [v.]||To ensure that all relevant details are recorded. "Don't pack up until these learnings are diarized."|
Suggested by Lesley.
|Diary forward [v.]||To record new knowledge and apply it in the future. "Managers will conduct a 15 minute walkdown each day and diary forward to cover all shifts."|
Suggested by Rob A.
|Die on the hill [v.]||To over-commit. "The client's pushing for a Friday go-live? No thanks. I'm not dying on that hill."|
Suggested by Renee
|Different breed [adj.]||A derogatory reference to a strange person or thing. "Night shift servermonkeys really are a different breed."|
|Digerati [n.]||An elite group of people that know more about computers than you ever will.|
|Dime store [n.]||A business that sells extremely cheap items.|
|DINK [n.]||Double Income, No Kids.|
|Dinosaur [n.]||A long-term company employee whose extensive experience is only surpassed by his resistance to change.|
Suggested by Aaron D.
|Dip your pen in company ink [v.]||Having sexual relations with a coworker.|
Suggested by Brad
|Directionally accurate [adj.]||A terrible euphemism for describing a failed guess. "You have to admit that our conclusion was at least directionally accurate."|
Suggested by ACP.
|Dirty laundry [n.]||Questionable business practices or documents that an organization would prefer to remain secret.|
|Dirty pool [exp.]||Unethical practices. "Her lawyers are really playing dirty pool on this one."|
|Disambiguate [v.]||An ironic 5-syllable word used in place of 'clarify.'|
|Disconnect [n.]||An inconsistency or problem. Another terrible noun created from a perfectly good verb.|
|Disimpress [v.]||To reverse a favorable impression with subsequent behavior. "We liked him at the first interview, but he really disimpressed us in the second round."|
Suggested by Jason I.
|Disincentivize [v.]||To reduce the motivation to make a particular choice. Please, just never say this word.|
|Disintermediate [v.]||The process of removing the middle man. Lord help us.|
|DK [n.]||Short for Don't Know. To renege on a deal by claiming that terms are missing or incorrect. "Joan DK'ed me when her options took a bath."|
Suggested by Papa
|Do the needful [exp.]||A reminder to actually do the work you're being paid for. "…and if that means coming in Sunday, we're going to do the needful."|
Suggested by Michael W.
|Doability [adj.]||Used to describe whether an activity can be undertaken. "I need to confirm the doability of that request."|
Suggested by Beneboy
|Dog [n.]||A badly performing product or company.|
|Dog and pony show [n.]||An overlay staged presentation that has more style than substance.|
|Dog in this fight [n.]||Presence in a given market. "Find out what the competition is up to, and make damn sure we get a dog in this fight."|
Suggested by Jack.
|Dogfooding [v.]||The practice of forcing developers to use their own product (or 'eat their own dog food') to better understand the customer experience.|
Suggested by Programmer Type.
|Doingness [n.]||An invented, pseudo-eastern concept of active participation. The kind of word that whole consulting empires are built around.|
|DOMA [exp.]||Die Or Move Away. One way to lose customers.|
|DOMO [exp.]||DOwnwardly MObile. A young person who changes their priorities and quits a high paying, demanding position.|
|Don't f*** with payroll [exp.]||Blunt advice about avoiding romantic or sexual relationships with co-workers.|
Suggested by Max
|Don't fight the tape [exp.]||Don't oppose the market trend.|
|Don't get your meat where you make your bread [exp.]||A food metaphor about the perils of hooking up with coworkers.|
Suggested by Jason F.
|Donkey work [n.]||Mundane tasks requiring minimal skill to complete. "I'm so done with this donkey work. Internships are the worst."|
|Dopeler effect [exp.]||The principle that stupid ideas sound better when they come at you quickly.|
|Double dip [v.]||To retire, but then start another career.|
|Double-time [exp.]||A military term meaning to act quickly. "Get that invoice out double-time!"|
|Dovetail [v.]||To expand upon a fellow employee's idea. Claiming it as your own is optional. "That dovetails nicely into my point."|
Suggested by Johnny P.
|Down and dirty [adj.]||To perform a task quickly without considering quality.|
|Down the rabbit hole [exp.]||A promise that what follows will be compelling, highly-detailed, and maybe a little crazy. "Let's double-click this icon and head straight down the rabbit hole."|
Suggested by Jon E.
|Downsize [v.]||To reduce the size of a workforce. Often begins with requests for voluntary resignations and ends with a series of layoffs.|
|Drill down [v.]||To investigate thoroughly. "Let's meet this afternoon and drill down on this one."|
|Drink from the firehose [v.]||To be overwhelmed with information.|
Suggested by Crazy Renee.
|Drink the Kool-aid [v.]||To accept company policy without question.|
|Drive beyond the headlights [v.]||To get ahead of oneself. "Stop me if I'm driving beyond the headlights here, but I want to share an amazing home-based business with you."|
Suggested by Crazy Renee.
|Drop-dead date [n.]||The REAL deadline. Missing it often means dire consequences.|
|Dropping packets [v.]||A state of forgetfulness caused by burnout or lack of sleep. "You hungover again? You've been dropping packets all morning..."|
Suggested by David M.
|Dub-dub-dub [n.]||A quicker (and nerdier) way to refer to the beginning of a website address. "You have to check out dub-dub-dub dot..."|
Suggested by Chandra C.
|Duck shove [n.]||The act of passing a difficult question or task to an unsuspecting third party. "I duck shoved that paperwork over to Jonathon."|
|Duck shuffler [n.]||Someone who disrupts your affairs after you've finally gotten all your 'ducks in a row.'|
|Ducks in a row [exp.]||To become organized.|
|Due diligence [n.]||The thoroughness required to make good business decisions.|
Suggested by Pulkit B.