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Have you ever dated a coworker?

No, that's a line I don't cross
No, but I'd consider it with the right person
One night doesn't count as dated, right?
Tried it, won't do it again
Yes, business AND pleasure
Had to invite half the office to the wedding...



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The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary


Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add these buzzwords to your vocabulary.
FRESH FROM
THE FIELD

Into the weeds

Work the problem

Verbiage

SWAG

Velvet lip

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Above-board [adj.]Honest and open. "I don't think you're being totally above-board with me."
Acluistic [adj.]The state of being completely 'without a clue.'
Across the piece [exp.]Affecting an entire project or organization. "We're aiming for improvements in efficiency across the piece."
Submitted by Clive N.
Action [v.]To undertake a given task; to put into practice. "Don't bother me while I'm actioning my deliverables."
Submitted by Ryan.
Action item [n.]A short term goal that requires a measure of work to complete. Basically a dynamic, proactive version of the things scribbled on your 'to do' list.
Actionable [adj.]Originally a legal word referring to anything that affords grounds for a lawsuit. Business people have perverted it to mean anything on which an action can be taken.
Address [v.]Used as a replacement for 'do', 'tackle', or 'complete', this word nicely avoids making a commitment to which the speaker can be held accountable. "I will address all of your concerns in the upcoming weeks."
Submitted by Russel H.
Adhocracy [n.]A minimally structured business where teams are formed as they are needed to address specific problems.
Administrivia [n.]A term that encompasses all the trivial tasks that management is far too qualified to suffer through.
Adoption process [n.]The customer's steps along the path from cautious cynic to submissive consumer of your product.
Agreeance [n.]A fancier way of saying agreement. "Are we in agreeance?"
Air it out [v.]To discuss an issue openly. "I heard you had a problem with some of our business practices. Let's get your team together and air it out this afternoon."
Al Desco [adj.]Describes any meal eaten at your desk (you have our sympathies if it's dinner). "I slept in so I'm having breakfast Al Desco."
ALAP [adj.]As Late As Possible. Describes meeting a deadline at the last possible moment in order to avoid receiving additional work. "I finished it last week, but I'm going to submit it ALAP."
Submitted by JC.
All-hands meeting [n.]A mandatory meeting for all employees. "Bob called an all-hands meeting this afternoon. It's never a good sign when he's willing to freeze the whole department for an hour." Let the navy keep the nautical slang.
Alpha geek [n.]The head of your company's IT department.
Alpha pup [n.]Trendsetting young people. Important targets for marketing to this age group. "Let's get six alpha pups in here for a focus group."
Amped [adj.]Having a large amount of excitement and energy. "I'm so amped about this new product line."
Anacronym [n.]An acronym that is so old, no one remembers the original phrase. Examples include RADAR, ASCII, and SNAFU.
Anecgloat [n.]A story of one's exploits that is intended to impress. May be partly fictional.
Anointed [n.]An employee that can't seem to do anything wrong in the eyes of management.
Anonymize [v.]To make anonymous.
Anticipointment [n.]The feeling that something didn't live up to its hype.
Apple polish [v.]To suck-up, flatter.
Armchair general [n.]Someone who speaks critically, but has no experience in the field in question.
Arrows to fire [exp.]Points to use in an argument. "Now if you don't have anymore arrows to fire, I think we're finished here."
Assmosis [v.]The apparent absorption of success that comes from sucking up.
At this juncture [exp.]Now. "We're not prepared to go public at this juncture."
Availability [n.]A convenient way of separating the individual from the ability to manage her own time. "I'd love to come, but I'm not sure about my availability, grandma."
Submitted by Sam K.


Have one to add? Click here to suggest a word


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