The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary: E-words

Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add buzzwords to your vocabulary.

Ear candy [n.]	Flattery.
Eat a reality sandwich [exp.]	Necessary when someone's ideas are completely inappropriate for the given situation. "I can't believe you said that to the committee. You better eat a reality sandwich before you walk back in that boardroom."
Eat drink sleep [v.]	Complete and total dedication to a role. "…but my real passion is market segmentation. I eat drink and sleep analytics."
Eat the elephant one bite at a time [exp.]	A reminder that even the largest problems can be solved by breaking them down into manageable bits. "Elephant in the room? One bite at a time, love." Suggested by Kelly G.
Eat the frog [v.]	To complete an unpleasant job that has been well procrastinated. "Just eat the frog and get on with it!" Suggested by Emma-Dawn L.
Econometrics [n.]	Marketed by consultants as a super scientific financial modeling exercise. Reality: Plugging three numbers into a pre-made spreadsheet.
Economical with the truth [adj.]	An aggravating euphemism for lying. "My esteemed colleague may not in fact realize he is being economical with the truth!!"
Ego surfing [v.]	Searching the web for references to oneself.
Eighty-six [v.]	To dispose of. "We have to eighty-six these documents or we'll all be crucified."
Elephants [n.]	Large investment groups that tend to move together.
Eleventh hour [exp.]	The last moment.
Empty suits [n.]	Unthinking middle management.
Enail [n.]	An email sent for the sole purpose of making a point in writing, usually at another person's expense. Most effective when cc'ed to as many senior people as possible. Suggested by Ian C.
Enculturate [v.]	To make something part of daily office life. Suggested by Mike B.
Enthuse [v.]	To inspire enthusiasm (or attempt to). "I'm still looking for a way to enthuse the new hires." Suggested by Andy P.
Entremanure [n.]	A self-employed risk taker that can't catch a break. Everything he touches turns to shit. Suggested by Erin S.
EPON [n.]	Endless Pit Of Need. A colleague who continually seeks support for their ongoing personal and professional problems. Suggested by M. Schroeder.
Evangelize [v.]	To promote a product with the enthusiasm of a true believer. "We need distributors to evangelize the new line to local markets." Suggested by Nicky T.
Even dead cats bounce [exp.]	Even worthless things can rise in value again.
Exploding offer [n.]	A job offer that expires after a certain date.
Extract the max [v.]	To achieve the highest level of productivity possible while directing a group of people. "I hope my management style will extract the max from each and every one of you."
Extrapediately [adv.]	Faster than ASAP and quicker than STAT, this made-up word is saved for when a task must be completed almost instantly. Suggested by CM & JC.
Extraview [n.]	A second interview you feel obliged to hold even though the position has already been filled. Can also be scheduled when the candidate is just so damn hot.