Head shed [n.] — The offices of top company leadership. “…well if you’re so convinced, why don’t you ride on up to the head shed and demand an audience?”

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Marinate [v.] — To allow some time to consider an idea privately. “I’ll just let that one marinate… Catch you on the circle back tomorrow am.”

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Triple-dub [n.] — The freshest way to start spelling out a website address. “Dude, you have to hit up triple-dub dot superpizzaboner dot info.”

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The reality of the modern office is that people are working more hours and getting married later in life. This means that there are probably more singles of dating age at your office now than ever before. With more time spent at work, people also tend form social networks that get together outside the office walls. This situation creates an ideal setting for the full range of human attraction from copy room hook-ups, to trade show infidelity, to long term dating.

Attitudes are changing. While most would agree that relationships between employees at different levels of the company can be a bad career move, people seem to be becoming more tolerant of their coworkers shacking up – as long as it doesn’t interfere with their job performance. A recent survey of 610 working men and women by vaultreports.com showed that 58% of people claimed to have had a workplace relationship and a surprising 23% admitted to having ‘relations’ on office property.

The Good Things

Aside from all the warm and fuzzy things that accompany a new love interest, there are a few benefits to office dating:

• You most likely share some of the same interests.
• You know the person beforehand.
• You can save some of the time, effort and cash required by the conventional dating scene.

The Not So Good Things

• Don’t assume that you’ll be able to keep it a secret. Chances are, one of you will confide in the wrong person or you’ll be seen in public together.
• You may find that your relationship is the center of office gossip until something more interesting comes up.
• The conflicting roles of your personal and professional relationship can cause strain in both areas of your life. You may find that you too often discuss work at home and vice versa.
• If you work relatively closely during the day, you could be spending almost all of your time together. One of you may begin to feel smothered.
• Spending eight hours a day pretending there’s no feelings between you (definitely necessary for the sake of professionalism) can eventually lead you right there.
• Choose your targets carefully. After too many office relationships, you could end up with a pretty unpleasant new nickname.
• Remember that most of these potential problems are a greater concern at smaller companies.

I Really Like You, But…

The real problems tend to start when someone calls the whole thing off. There are a few things that can happen after a break-up:

• Actions of revenge.
• The possibility of a sexual harassment suit.
• People are often distracted at work directly after a break-up. This problem is magnified when you’ve got a walking reminder just down the hall.
• There is often no way to get the time and space apart from each other that’s required after a break-up.

Of course, the official company standpoint is to usually discourage relationships at work, but there are a lot of things your boss would prefer you didn’t do. In our litigious society, your company has a lot to worry about if things go sour between you. Some companies go as far as to have you sign a “love contract” that clearly indicates your mutual consent.

So in the end, you should talk to each other and learn what kind of relationship you’re both comfortable with. Find out if your company has a written or unwritten policy about this. If you can avoid the pitfalls and successfully separate your personal and professional lives, you might find exactly what you’re looking for just down the hall.

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Any kind of computer monitoring is complex, costly, and can impact company morale; so why are organizations eager to do it? In the information age, a single mouse click – whether intentional or not – can cost a company millions. We also live at a time when lawsuits from things such as sexual harassment, liability, or unethical activity can be equally as damaging. While these may be extreme cases, the combination of the incredible convenience and relative permanence of electronic communication has made it goldmine for corporate lawyers.

So what can you do to resist this kind of privacy invasion at work? The first step, of course, is to find out what your company will admit to. They aren’t actually required to disclose most types of monitoring, but there may be a written or unwritten policy that covers it. If you’re still losing sleep over this, we present a few ideas that should appeal to range of people including the mildly concerned and the truly paranoid. Oh and we’re not responsible if your attempts at subverting Big Brother land you a very private, but very unemployed life.

Company Sponsored Spyware

There are hundreds of products on the market designed to provide as much information about your computer habits as your boss feels he deserves. These things include periodic screenshots, webpage and application logs, and even keystroke recording. A great way to feed your anxiety is to read how these products are pitched to your superiors. The following are actual quotes listed as features of this type of software:

“Record the user’s every move.”

“When [the] user types any keystrokes… this text appears on your screen in real time.”

“Stealth/Silent installation and invisible running.”

And my personal favourite:

“While some employees may not appreciate having their personal internet time monitored and limited, most employees ultimately are glad to have this temptation eliminated or reduced.”

It’s a good thing this company knows exactly what you and I want.

Even the most hardworking employee will occasionally have to do a little online banking on their lunch break or fire off a personal email on their way out the door. When one of these programs is installed, the common employee has no control over where this information is potentially sent (picture a snooping IT manager chuckling at the pet name your wife just called you). These programs are designed to be difficult to detect and disable, but you’ll find some help from the software on this list of anti-spyware tools.

Email Monitoring

Email is not subject to wiretapping or letter opening laws since the company owns your desktop machine and all the servers that store and distribute your email on its way through your company’s network. The best approach in this case is to use one of the many free, web-based email services to have a separate mailbox for business and personal messages. When you log in at work, however, you’re still not guaranteed privacy, but it’s a much better idea than sending raunchy jokes through an @yourcompany.com address.

Web Surfing

When you browse the Internet, pieces of every site you visit are left behind on your computer’s hard drive. These include cookies, favourites, browser history, and images. The first step then is to physically remove these files after visiting a naughty corner of the web. Wiping your tracks this way may prevent someone using your PC from stumbling upon your dark secrets casually, but it won’t stop an employer that actively monitors your Internet connection. Any information moving in or out of your computer, except encrypted data, can be recorded. Suspicious activity can be easily flagged for future review. There are many devices and software products that claim to circumvent this type of monitoring and clean up those incriminating files automatically. You can find information about these and many other excellent privacy tools at the Electronic Privacy Information Center.

Instant Messaging (IM)

The good news is that most companies at present do not monitor information sent over the common free IM products – unless you’ve set them to keep log files of your conversations. The monitoring that does exist, however, can be either workstation or network based. Most IM programs are fundamentally unsecure and should never be used to discuss sensitive topics. In any case, it’s a good idea to limit your instant messaging at work as many consider it to be completely unprofessional.

Conclusions

A good personal policy is to assume that your computer use at work is simply not private. Indulging your interest in marijuana cultivation is something you might want to save for home. Just like a desk phone, everyone uses their work computer for personal matters sometimes, just be aware that your computer habits may be reveal more about yourself than you’d like your boss to know.

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Stress and Your Body

The adrenaline rush you feel at stressful times is commonly known as the “fight or flight” response. This heightened state was important for our distant ancestors when faced with the dangers of their environment. A number of things happen, but the end result is that your body diverts energy away from non-essential things (such as digestion) and prepares for physical strain. Your heart rate and blood pressure shoot up and your senses become sharper. This allowed early humans to attack better, run quicker, and jump higher – all important things for keeping them alive. Unfortunately for you, these skills won’t get you very far when faced with a problem at the office.

The Nature of the Beast

When it comes to workplace health, the media loves to hype the impact of stress. While there are many legitimate disorders that have a tangible cost to the economy, articles often quote a multi-billion dollar figure in describing the cost of workplace stress. This kind of thinking encourages people to feel victimized by the difficulties they experience at work.

The key to understanding the problem is to consider your body’s response to sources of stress. In the end, our reactions are subjective, meaning that different people won’t be affected in the same way by the same situation. Ever wonder how some individuals seem to be constantly pulled in ten different directions, and yet remain calm and collected in everything they do? Granted, these people still have moments of panic like the rest of us, but they generally adapt well to the stress in their life. So what can be learned from these people… how can you reduce your stress level?

A Few Things to Try

So without relying on a certain pill with the vague commercial and the pages of side effects, there are a few things that might help you tackle your anxiety. You have a measure of control; to change your work environment and certainly your response to it. Even something as simple as altering your thinking about the stress in your life can have a positive effect. There are several books and courses that claim to help you make these changes. Now as a guarded realist, you’re thinking that a new mindset sounds like a great thing, but you’re still going to be left with a mountain of work once you get back to reality.

Something else to consider is that most people are reactive when it comes to stress at work. This means that they’ll often take steps to remedy problems only after they arise. You might want to try being a little more active in your approach. Anticipate future problems. Take steps to ensure that stressful issues don’t reoccur. Change the methods your group uses to complete projects. In the end, however, addressing the source of your stress may involve making some compromises. Knowing which ones to make is very important and something we’ll leave to you. You may have to explain to your boss that you really can’t take on a new task right now without sacrificing the quality of your other work.

You also may not be alone in your efforts to lower your stress level. Progressive companies have begun to realize that employees with balanced, healthy lives are often more productive. To this end, many have made an effort to reduce stress by getting involved in areas that have typically been outside their realm of influence. For example, many have started employee assistance programs where workers can receive free counseling and support. Others have incorporated flexible work schedules that recognize that life doesn’t always fit neatly around eight daytime hours. Even something as simple as a recreation program or on-site gym can have a positive impact on a company’s workforce.

The Take-home

So try not to write your job off as “stressful” and feel like you’re helpless to do anything about it. Try some of the things above and you might find that your work anxiety is a little more manageable.

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Coming out of college, many believe they have to abandon their wild past and join the workforce as responsible employees. They’re often surprised to find that there are just as many crazy young professionals, but with one important difference – they have the disposable income to do it right. For those of you working in sales or P.R., a little reckless socializing might come with the job. But for the rest of us, it can be a challenge to find the right balance between having a good time and keeping your job. Anyone can go crazy on the weekend, but it takes some skill to stay out until 4 am on a random Wednesday and do anything useful the next morning. There’s nothing worse than having every other person ask, “Late one last night?” So how can you truly work and play hard?

Stay Past Five

A few companies have introduced flex time as a way of adjusting the work day to their employee’s lifestyles. But even if you’re not technically allowed to come in later in the morning, getting work done at night may let you veg the next day until your head clears. You might, of course, have the kind of job where you’re already expected to stay late every night; you have our sympathy.

In this situation, the only thing to watch out for is that feeling that your life has been reduced to enjoying your countless vices and making the money you need to finance your countless vices.

Watch the Fighting

If you know you’re that kind of drunk, keep your ego in-check on the weeknights. Nothing gives you away like a nice black-eye or a two inch scratch on your face. If your coworkers know you at all, they’re not going to believe whatever colourful excuse you come up with, either. Other trophies to watch out for are semi-permanent hand stamps and anything your friends can do to you with a hair trimmer while you’re passed out.

In the Cup, Please

You might want to find out if your company is going to surprise you with a drug test before you head off for two weeks in Amsterdam. If this is a problem for you, you can either find a new job, a new hobby, or trust your future to the hundreds of techniques and products pitched online that claim to fool these tests.

Happy Hour

Consider the opportunity that is happy hour. If you’re in the bag by seven, you still have time to get home (don’t drive, smart one) and get a full night’s sleep before your important meeting the next day. Unfortunately, this one doesn’t work so well if you’ve got anyone waiting for you at home – you’ve been warned! So get your friends together and find a local yuppy hangout for a little networking at the end of the day.

Take it easy, Skippy

It’s hard to believe, but you don’t have to get completely wrecked every time you head out with your friends. If you make your night more about the people and less about the chemicals, you might find that you can still have a good time without a world of pain the next day.

I think I need a Nap

Nothing can improve how you feel during the day like a bit of sleep – even if it’s short. Falling asleep at your desk, however, is definitely not recommended. Life is all too often about image and this is a quick way to sabotage yours at work. Try taking your lunch out to the car and passing out there for a while.

Hit the Gym

People often claim that they need less sleep when they include some exercise in their life. The better shape you’re in, the more easily your body can recover from your abuse of it. This might also help with those extra pounds you’ve put on from all the drinking.

The final thing to remember is to watch how much partying you do with your actual coworkers. While getting to know your colleagues outside of work is not a bad thing, it really doesn’t take much to build a reputation. The dark circles under your bloodshot eyes may be enough for people at the office to speculate about how your night went, but being there to actually witness (and possibly photograph) your antics is completely different. While most would agree that this scene gets a little tired (and eventually just sad), it’s still a way of life for many young workers. If you can find the right balance, you’ll build your career without missing out on five perfectly good nights each week.

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If you’re going to survive the office life, it all starts now. We’ve come up with eight things that will help you make the most of this time:

Company resources: learn where they are and how to use them
In the long run, you’ll be able to do your job better if you know how to tap the resources at work. There are probably all kinds of office gadgets and systems in place to help you out. Learn where the fax machine is, make a couple of notes on how to use the phone, peruse the information on the company intranet, and track down any software you think you need. Remember that your list should also include people! If your company is large enough, there are probably a half dozen individuals who can make your new job easier. These can include people such as under-worked interns, receptionists, and the unofficial computer fix-it guy.

Get something to work towards, even if it’s small
A good supervisor will give you something to sink your teeth into immediately, even if it’s trivial. If he doesn’t, find out whether there’s a goal you can start working towards in addition to any other training. As long as you don’t come across as too much of a suck-up, he’ll respect your initiative.

Find a mentor
It’s good to have a person that can teach you all the things you won’t find in the employee handbook. She can also help by answering the questions that you wouldn’t want to waste your boss’s time with. Just don’t bug her too much…

Start learning names
But you knew one this already, didn’t you? Don’t assume that someone will hold your hand and introduce you to everyone in the office. Take the initiative to reach out to people. And don’t think people won’t notice when you forget their name later and find all sorts of creative ways to address them without it. Simply asking for a reminder now can save you from a lot of awkwardness down the road.

Two words: happy hour
One of the best ways to build a solid working relationship with people is to spend time with them outside of work. Take advantage of formal and informal opportunities to get to know your coworkers better. You might even get a free drink on the company tab once in a while.

Dress the part
On your first day of work you’ll probably notice that people vary widely in their interpretation of ‘business casual’. If you look too sloppy, people won’t take you seriously. On the other hand, if you show up to work overdressed, you might come across as someone who just doesn’t “get it.” For a good compromise, aim to match some of the better dressed people at your level in the company.

Address your nagging feelings of inadequacy
You made it through that grueling interview process, so at least one person believes you should be here. It’s natural to feel a little overwhelmed at first. As long as your resume isn’t totally embellished, remind yourself that you have the skills to adapt to whatever comes your way.

Enjoy this time of fewer responsibilities
After all of this sober advice, just remember that nobody expects you to overhaul the company in your first two weeks (certainly don’t try). It will be understood that you’ll have a lot to learn before you make any real contribution. That being said, don’t let this attitude extend too long or you might find yourself as the “new guy” again much sooner than you thought.

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